French grammar · Advanced
Idiomatic Pronominal Verbs in French: When Se Changes the Meaning
Idiomatic pronominal verbs are verbs whose meaning changes once you add a reflexive pronoun. Attendre is to wait, but s'attendre à is to expect; douter is to doubt, but se douter is to suspect. The pronoun is not doing anything reflexive here — it is simply part of a different verb, and the dictionary entry has to be learned as a unit.
Je ne m'attendais pas à te voir ici.
I wasn't expecting to see you here.
What it is
French has three kinds of pronominal verb. Reflexives turn the action back on the subject, reciprocals share it between two people, and idiomatic pronominals do neither: the pronoun has stopped meaning anything and has become part of the verb's identity. Se douter is not doubting oneself, and s'ennuyer is not boring oneself.
Il doute de sa réponse, mais je me doute de la vérité. — He doubts his answer, but I have a fair idea of the truth.
How to spot it
Translate the pronoun as myself, yourself, each other. If none of those makes sense, the verb is idiomatic and you need a separate dictionary meaning.
- Je me demande où il est. — I wonder where he is. (not: I ask myself)
- Ils s'entendent bien. — They get on well. (not: they hear each other)
- Elle s'est trompée de train. — She took the wrong train. (not: she deceived herself)
- Ça se passe bien ? — Is it going well? (not: is it passing itself)
A few of these do have a faint logic behind them once you look, but you cannot generate them from the plain verb. Meet them as vocabulary.
Idiomatic Pronominal Verbs Quick Reference
The plain verb next to its pronominal twin
| Plain verb | Pronominal verb | The shift |
|---|---|---|
| attendre — to wait for | s'attendre à — to expect | waiting becomes anticipating |
| douter de — to doubt | se douter de — to suspect | disbelief becomes a hunch |
| demander — to ask | se demander — to wonder | asking someone becomes asking nobody |
| passer — to pass | se passer — to happen | movement becomes an event |
| entendre — to hear | s'entendre — to get along | hearing becomes agreeing |
| rendre — to give back | se rendre compte — to realise | returning becomes noticing |
| servir — to serve | se servir de — to use | serving becomes helping yourself to |
| tromper — to deceive | se tromper — to be wrong | deceiving becomes erring |
Common Idiomatic Pronominal Verbs Examples in French
The ones you'll meet most often, grouped by what they do:
Thinking and Realising
- Je me demande s'il viendra.
- I wonder whether he'll come.
- Elle s'est rendu compte de son erreur.
- She realised her mistake.
- Je m'aperçois que j'ai oublié les clés.
- I notice I've forgotten the keys.
- On s'attendait à pire.
- We were expecting worse.
Se rendre compte de and s'apercevoir de both mean to realise; s'apercevoir is more sudden and more visual.
Relationships and Feelings
- Nous nous entendons très bien.
- We get on very well.
- Il s'ennuie au bureau.
- He's bored at the office.
- Elle se plaint tout le temps.
- She complains all the time.
- Je m'en veux de lui avoir dit ça.
- I feel bad about having said that to him.
S'entendre avec quelqu'un is the standard way to say you get on with someone. The plain entendre only ever means to hear.
Events and Handling Things
- Qu'est-ce qui se passe ?
- What's going on?
- Je m'occupe des billets.
- I'll take care of the tickets.
- Il se sert de mon ordinateur.
- He's using my computer.
- Ça s'est bien terminé.
- It ended well.
Se passer describes what happens; se passer de, with de, means to do without: je me passe de café.
Getting It Wrong
- Je me suis trompé de numéro.
- I dialled the wrong number.
- Tu t'es trompée dans le calcul.
- You made a mistake in the calculation.
- Elle s'y prend mal.
- She's going about it the wrong way.
- Ne t'en fais pas.
- Don't worry.
Se tromper de plus a bare noun is the everyday way to say you got the wrong one: se tromper de jour, de porte, de rue.
How Idiomatic Pronominals Behave
The pronoun has no grammatical job, but it still has to be conjugated, placed, and accounted for in the past.
The Pronoun Matches the Subject
Even though it means nothing, the pronoun still changes with the person: me, te, se, nous, vous, se. It sits directly in front of the verb and elides before a vowel.
Je m'ennuie, tu t'ennuies, nous nous ennuyons.
I'm bored, you're bored, we're bored.
Same six pronouns as any reflexive.
The Preposition Is Part of the Package
Many of these verbs come with a fixed preposition that the plain verb does not use, or uses differently. S'attendre takes à where attendre takes a direct object, and se servir takes de.
Je m'attends à une réponse rapide.
I'm expecting a quick reply.
Learn the verb, the pronoun, and the preposition together.
Compound Tenses Take Être
Like every pronominal verb, these take être in the passé composé and all other compound tenses, no matter which auxiliary the plain verb would use. Attendre takes avoir, but s'attendre takes être.
Nous nous sommes attendus à un refus.
We expected a refusal.
Pronominal → être, always.
The Participle Agrees With the Subject
Because the pronoun is not a real object, the ordinary agreement rules have nothing to bite on, and the participle simply agrees with the subject. Elle s'est trompée, ils se sont entendus.
Elles se sont aperçues du problème.
They noticed the problem.
Agree with who the subject is.
Se Rendre Compte Is the Exception
In se rendre compte, the noun compte is the real direct object and it follows the verb, so the participle never agrees. This one form catches out native speakers too.
Elle s'est rendu compte trop tard.
She realised too late.
s'est rendu compte — never rendue.
Common Mistakes with Idiomatic Pronominal Verbs
Incorrect: J'ai me trompé de jour. — I got the day wrong.
Correct: Je me suis trompé de jour. — I got the day wrong.
Every pronominal verb takes être in compound tenses, and the pronoun goes before the auxiliary, not after it.
Incorrect: Elle s'est rendue compte de son erreur. — She realised her mistake.
Correct: Elle s'est rendu compte de son erreur. — She realised her mistake.
Compte is the direct object and it follows the verb, so nothing triggers agreement. This is the single most common written slip with idiomatic pronominals.
Incorrect: Je m'attends une bonne nouvelle. — I'm expecting good news.
Correct: Je m'attends à une bonne nouvelle. — I'm expecting good news.
Attendre takes a direct object, but s'attendre requires à. The pronominal version brings its own preposition and does not inherit the plain verb's syntax.
Incorrect: Nous entendons bien avec les voisins. — We get on well with the neighbours.
Correct: Nous nous entendons bien avec les voisins. — We get on well with the neighbours.
Without the pronoun, entendre only means to hear. The get-along meaning exists only in the pronominal form, so the nous has to be doubled.
Conjugating the Awkward Ones
The verbs below carry a pronoun, sometimes an adverbial pronoun on top of it, and an irregular stem. Seeing the full paradigm once removes most of the hesitation.
S'en aller, to leave
This one stacks se and en in front of an irregular verb. In compound tenses everything piles up before être, which is why it looks so alarming written out.
| Pronoun | présent | passé composé | futur |
|---|---|---|---|
| je / j' | m'en vais | m'en suis allé(e) | m'en irai |
| tu | t'en vas | t'en es allé(e) | t'en iras |
| il / elle / on | s'en va | s'en est allé(e) | s'en ira |
| nous | nous en allons | nous en sommes allé(e)s | nous en irons |
| vous | vous en allez | vous en êtes allé(e)(s) | vous en irez |
| ils / elles | s'en vont | s'en sont allé(e)s | s'en iront |
The imperative rearranges everything: va-t'en, allons-nous-en, allez-vous-en. The apostrophe in va-t'en is the pronoun te, not a linking t.
Three irregular stems in the present
S'apercevoir, se plaindre, and s'asseoir all have stem changes that have nothing to do with being pronominal, so they have to be learned separately.
| Pronoun | s'apercevoir | se plaindre | s'asseoir |
|---|---|---|---|
| je / j' | m'aperçois | me plains | m'assieds |
| tu | t'aperçois | te plains | t'assieds |
| il / elle / on | s'aperçoit | se plaint | s'assied |
| nous | nous apercevons | nous plaignons | nous asseyons |
| vous | vous apercevez | vous plaignez | vous asseyez |
| ils / elles | s'aperçoivent | se plaignent | s'asseyent |
The cedilla in aperçois keeps the c soft before o. It disappears before e and i: nous apercevons but j'aperçois.
Agreement in the passé composé
Almost all idiomatic pronominals agree with the subject. Se rendre compte does not, because compte is already the direct object and it comes after the verb.
| Pronoun | se douter (agrees) | se rendre compte (invariable) |
|---|---|---|
| je / j' | me suis douté(e) | me suis rendu compte |
| tu | t'es douté(e) | t'es rendu compte |
| il / elle / on | s'est douté(e) | s'est rendu compte |
| nous | nous sommes douté(e)s | nous sommes rendu compte |
| vous | vous êtes douté(e)(s) | vous êtes rendu compte |
| ils / elles | se sont douté(e)s | se sont rendu compte |
Se plaire, se déplaire, se mentir, se parler, se téléphoner and se ressembler are invariable too, for the same underlying reason: the pronoun is indirect.
Pronominals That Come With En or Y Attached
A small group has swallowed an adverbial pronoun as well, so the pronoun is fixed and cannot be replaced by anything else.
Built on en
In s'en aller, s'en faire, s'en vouloir and s'en prendre à, the en is frozen. It does not refer back to anything and cannot be removed.
- Je m'en vais dans cinq minutes.
- I'm off in five minutes.
- Ne t'en fais pas pour moi.
- Don't worry about me.
- Il s'en veut terriblement.
- He feels terrible about it.
- Elle s'en est prise à moi.
- She took it out on me.
S'en vouloir de plus an infinitive gives the reason: je m'en veux de ne pas avoir appelé.
Built on y
S'y prendre, s'y connaître and s'y faire keep a y that names no place. They describe skill, expertise, and adjusting to something.
- Tu t'y prends mal.
- You're going about it the wrong way.
- Il s'y connaît en vin.
- He knows his stuff when it comes to wine.
- On finit par s'y faire.
- You get used to it in the end.
S'y connaître en is followed by a bare noun: elle s'y connaît en informatique.
Passive-looking pronominals
French often uses a pronominal verb where English would use a passive or an impersonal subject. There is no agent, and the subject is a thing rather than a person.
- Ce plat se mange froid.
- This dish is eaten cold.
- Le vin blanc se sert frais.
- White wine is served chilled.
- Ça ne se dit pas.
- You don't say that.
- Comment ça s'écrit ?
- How is that spelled?
This is the most natural way to give general instructions in French, and it avoids the heavier être plus participle passive.
Idiomatic Pronominal Verbs FAQs
- What is an idiomatic pronominal verb in French?
- A verb that takes a reflexive pronoun but is not reflexive in meaning. Se douter is not doubting yourself, it is suspecting; se passer is not passing yourself, it is happening. The pronoun has become part of the verb's dictionary entry.
- How is that different from a reflexive verb?
- In a reflexive verb the pronoun is a genuine object: elle se lave means she washes herself, and you could replace se with la voiture. In an idiomatic pronominal there is no such substitution, because the plain verb has a different meaning altogether.
- Do idiomatic pronominal verbs use être or avoir in the passé composé?
- Être, without exception, even when the plain verb takes avoir. Attendre gives j'ai attendu, but s'attendre gives je me suis attendu à. The participle then agrees with the subject: elle s'est attendue au pire.
- Why is it elle s'est rendu compte and not rendue?
- Because compte is the direct object of rendre and it sits after the verb, so the agreement rule never applies. Compare elle s'est aperçue, where there is no following object and the participle does agree.
- How do I learn them without memorising a huge list?
- Learn them in pairs with the plain verb, since the contrast makes both stick: attendre / s'attendre à, servir / se servir de, tromper / se tromper de. Record the preposition at the same time, because it is nearly always different from the plain verb's.